Always
by Vixen279
Summary: I was feeling angsty. Not a Babe or a Cupcake. Second chapter changes things.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own JE's characters.**

I stood there for almost ten minutes before I broke the silence. He deserved to hear these words. I took a deep breath and started to speak. "Ranger, I know you must think that I have stopped speaking to you, but that is not the case. It's just that I finally understand that our relationship cannot be. It took me the better part of a year to get that through my head. My heart will always call out for you and that is why I am here. I miss you so much."

I wipe at the tears running down my face.

"I have to get all of this out or I won't have the courage. I had you on a pedestal. Part of me thought of you like a superhero. Instead of noticing that it hurt you when I would go back and forth with Joe, I stupidly thought it did not bother you. I thought you had closed your heart. I never thought you wanted to give it to me. That was my big mistake." I sit down and stopped pacing.

"You gave me all of the hints I needed to figure out that you wanted me in your life and I ignored them or I misread them. So many times, I let you get close to me and I would get close to you and then I would back away and seek comfort in another man's arms when I wished they were yours. I made us a mess. You helped, but it was mostly me. I never made a decision until it was too late." I look down at my lap.

"I broke up with Joe almost a year ago. It was right after that night. You took me home from my latest car fiasco and kissed me. Like always, you offered to stay with me, but I foolishly insisted that I would be fine alone. By the time I was in my apartment, you were gone, but I knew what I needed to do. I called Joe and broke it off for good. I waited for you to come back or to call me, but I guess I was too late." This is so hard.

"Anyway, you may have noticed that I moved. Of course you noticed. I moved to Boston. I compromised with Tank. He still tries to keep an eye on me. It's sweet. I work in research now. It is safer and all of that. I am really here to apologize. I hope you believe me that I love you still and I will always regret that we never got together. I will love you always. I will miss you always. See you next year, Ranger."

I turn and walk away from his headstone. I lost my best friend in a car crash almost a year ago. Now all I have are memories and what ifs that will haunt me forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own JE's characters.**

 **This chapter is to satisfy a challenge from Meyzen. She said I should turn the tears of sadness into tears of joy. This one's for you!**

It had been two weeks since I visited the gravesite and I was slowly getting over it in my mind. I was on my way back from my run when I felt it. The tingle. I looked around, but I did not see anyone. My mind is playing tricks on me. I will never be over him, so I guess I should be used to it.

The house I bought in Beacon Hill was great and very secure. It was also slightly secluded. I needed my space. I had been left a substantial amount of money by Ranger and I decided with Tank's and a lawyer's help to buy this home. I showered and fixed my breakfast.

Today was a work at home day. I only had to go to the office once a week. That was good. I was deep into a forensic accounting program when someone knocked on my door. That was strange. I checked the peephole and scream. I looked again and promptly passed out with the door still locked.

I woke up on my couch and the first thing I noticed was the smell of Bulgari. Oh, no. Not this dream again. I put my hands over my face. How much longer will he haunt me?

"I am not haunting you, Babe." Dammit, I still spoke out loud? What? I look to my right and there is Ranger's ghost. He is sitting in an armchair. I sit up.

"Listen, I am doing my best to move on. Could you not haunt me? I am sorry I was clueless when you were alive. Do not torment me this way." I choke out the last part around tears.

"Babe." Nope. I still don't know what that means.

"Fine. Can you at least be more talkative as a ghost? These one word sentences are fucking frustrating." He smiles at me and damn, even for a ghost he is so handsome. His hair is different. They had told me that there was not enough of him found from the car crash and subsequent explosion. That had almost killed me to hear that.

"Babe, I am not a ghost." I reach out and poke him. Hard. He winces. Oh my god! I jump up and hug him. I know I am crying and babbling and hugging him and kissing his face, but he endures it all.

Wait a minute. It has been a fucking year! I pull back and slap him hard across the face. He sighs.

"I guess I deserve that, Babe. If you let me, I will explain what happened to you as I am now free to do so. If you want me to leave after that, I will." I nod at him and sit back on the couch. He sighs again.

"Babe, there was a death threat on you. That bomb was meant to catch the both of us. Since I met you, all of my cars are wired to detect bombs. I parked the car at an intersection without cameras and got out." I gasp. He continues.

"I watched the car from inside of a nearby building and it exploded. I called Tank and told him to say I was in the car. I worked with the government to bring down the people responsible, Babe. They had to think I was dead and I know Tank suggested that you move here and I know you are using Mazur as your last name."

He reaches for me. I sit back on his lap and put my arms around him and cuddle with him. I missed this. I wiped at the tears running down my face. He kisses my cheek.

"I am very sorry that you were grieving for me, Querida. Ricardo Manoso is dead, but Marc Pardo is very much alive. My partners bought me out quietly, Babe. I do not need to ever work again. I want to travel. Will you consider traveling with me? Can you forgive me?" I look at him steadily.

"I will think about it. If this is not a dream or a hallucination, I may consider it." He smiles at me and kisses my forehead. I poke him again. He laughs.

"Babe, I am alive, I promise. I have missed you so much. You looked good on your run today." I blush.

"So you haunt me and stalk me, huh?" He sighs and nods.

"So, tell me about Marc. What type of movies does he like?" He hugs me close and I smell him again.

"I like Ghostbusters because it reminds me of the woman I love." I gasp. He said it out loud.

"You love me, really?" He kisses me gently.

"Babe." I smile. I guess it means yes.

"Okay, Marc or whoever you are. We are going to do this and it is going to be good." He pulls me close and we sit with him holding me. I poke him again. He laughs. I love that sound. I am going to punch Tank in the face when I see him, but for now, I am happy.


End file.
